5 Hanks: Go put on your favorite pair of sweatpants, sprint out the front door like a fat kid who just heard the ice cream truck
and get this thing, fast as you can. Get one for me too.


4 Hanks: 4 Hanks is like you're in a convertible on the perfect summer day, singing your favorite Britney Spears song and you don't even care who sees.


3 Hanks: Most of the things humans have ever produced are in this category. There's not much love inside it & whoever made it was probably doing it for the money.
Big whoop, as they say.


2 Hanks: Like a tuna-mint cookie; it will serve a purpose but it's just not good. Don't recommend this to anyone if you want to keep them as a friend.


1 Hank: This thing will probably end up in your garbage or in somebody else's garbage after they buy it from your garage sale for 15 cents. You're better off spending your cold hard cash on tickets to the MENUDO reunion.