Continue reading... "how this freaky site works..."

So you come home and are greeted by a freaking-out-tornado of a dog, who proceeds to beat the tar out of you, fists flailing. You come out of the salutation with a giant set of scratch marks across your chest that you can actually feel raising and reddening slowly. You are in pain. Real pain here.

Or is your situation more like this? ;

You're having friends over. It's a big deal. You haven't had people over in ages and tonight's the night you're going to throw the party of the year, fancy as you can. People start showing up in their night clubbing outfits and japanese louis vuitton bags , you know, the ones that you can't get in the stores, and only Carmen Electra has one and she's in all the fashion magazines holding it and grinning like, "I got the cherry Louis bag and you don't." Anyway, the girls start a'comin in and your dog is so happy and excited that he immediately leaps at a 90-degree angle and punches your girlfriend in the eye with his beak. On the way down from his flight, his claws dig into her new, white chenille one-sleeved sweater and gnarls it on up, leaving it irreparable.

Question;

How do you fix this problem?

Answer;

Continue reading... "if your dog's jumping on people and you want it to stop, read on..."

Here we are at the end of a long road, at times it was rough but we all got through it alive and contented. Swanky is now officially a member of the society of well-behaved dogs and he has a diploma to show all visitors who come to his swanky apartment overlooking New York's coveted Long Beach spread. He no longer humps legs OR arms, knows a handful of commands and their hand signals, is somehow mysteriously a hundred times cuter than the first time we met, and his once bad decisions are turning into better and best decisions.

Continue reading... "Swanky #6 (graduation time for Swank, time for Swank to graduate...)"

Swanky's an 11-week-old italian greyhound who seeks attention constantly by jumping, playbiting, scratching the litter box, humping, crying, barking, dive-bombing shoelaces, and whimpering. I'm sure there are more methods but that'll do for now. He is completely litterbox trained (!) and came about a week ago by plane from a breeder. He always wants to be held, and is violently opposed to being left alone. The neighbors (apartment building) have heard him cry like someone was pulling his legs off, just because his owner went out to the post office for a hot second. This problem has the potential for some extreme hair-pulling, bad-mouthing rumbles between Swanky and his downstairs, across the way, upstairs and diagonal neighbors.

Continue reading... "swanky #1"

This beautiful cocker (mix possibly?) is 11 months old and was just adopted from Abandoned Angels Rescue and brought to a house where three other dogs, Mee-Too, Brandy & Roxanne, live happily and peacefully (la, la, la...). The balance of the entire family was thrown off immediately by Bacardi...

Continue reading... "bacardi #1"